I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
how drunk are you?
Several
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
