this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
