You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
