My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
