Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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