Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize