from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
