y did u give ur computer a hand job?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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