You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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