We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
