I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
