i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
