I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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