Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
