I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
