your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize