I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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