You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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