Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
