He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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