If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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