You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
