Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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