I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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