Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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