Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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