why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
