nut hugger
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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