Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize