STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
