Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
