I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Randomize
