i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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