just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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