But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
