Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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