he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
