I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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