She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
