dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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