It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
