whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize