did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
ttyl tear gas
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
