I need help removing her.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
