Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
