Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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