everyone is single if you try hard enough
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
