All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
