Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
