His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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