She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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