I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
