Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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