I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
