so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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