New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
