I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
