u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My ass is underappreciated
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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