He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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