If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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