matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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