what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
