Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm at about main and main street
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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