im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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