weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize