I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
