so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
